On the seventh day, God was preparing to create aliens, trap-cards, Shane Warne, daleks, pikachus, ivigalotrars and brightly coloured caribou, when God’s mother spake unto Him: “It beeth the seventh day, and thou shalt observe the Sabbath. Thou shalt not work today, or you might catch a cold.” And God spake unto her, “I shall not not not not work today.”
But she was no fool, and said unto her son, “I’m no fool, don’t you know that?” And he replied, “Of course I know that, I’m fucking omniscient, how many times do I have to tell you that?”
Hence they argued thus for 30 minutes before a compromise was reached, and God pronounced. “Very well; I shall invent a sport so slow that the watching of it, even the playing of it, shalt be considered rest. And it shalt be known as cricket."
But God’s game has often struggled through the ages, particularly at the hands of those who claimed that soccer, not cricket, was a gift from god. God became worried about the spread of football caused by the Roman empire; in fact Roma vs Lazio derbies at the Circus Maximus regularly attracted crowds of 200,000. And so God sent his son Jesus, a cricket coach, down to earth. And Jesus formed a formidable cricket team of 11 players known as The Disciples, together with their twelfth man Judas. It was thought that he was a loyal cricketer, but in reality he was a football fan, as they should have guessed, given that he always cried “ˇÁrbitro, falta!” whenever he was hit by a cricket ball. And due to Judas’ treachery, Jesus was crucified by a gang of Lazio ultras.
But there was a second coming: coached by Jesus II aka Sam Hammond and inspired by Marx and Engels, The Socialist Fifths revived the Holy Spirit of cricket. The second coming was consequently extinguished by the Horrific Satanic Conglomeration.
But there was a third coming! Reflecting the inability of any of the participants to fit into 'strayan society (given our hesitancy to wear wife-beaters and Australian flags), the name was once again changed to "The Antisocial Cricket Club".
So join us in our quest to overcome overblown narcissism, paranoid schizophrenia, death and the other teams of the
